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The Power Of Friendship
Friendship is one of the first types of exterior relationships we experience as a child and one of the most natural connections we have with other human beings. We discover so much about ourselves from our interactions with others, especially when formulating our own malleable personalities, expectations and framework for the kind of friendship(s) we desire for the rest of our lives.
For me, a friendship was always about give and take. I notice some friendships are easier than others to sustain and some friendships happen instantaneous while others may take time to develop a mutual earned trust. Regardless, a healthy friendship provides room for personal and emotional growth without judgment on both ends and leaves us with a feeling of mutual satisfaction.
Most friendships fill a need or void in our lives which takes the place of a nurturing parent or caregiver as we get older. What may start out as something surface…a "hi" or "how do you do", can quickly deepen and grow into a significant and meaningful relationship that can span a lifetime. We are drawn to specific types of people and we create bonding patterns in our friendships—just as we do in all of our relationships.
True friends are few and far between, we may have a lot of acquaintances (or friends on Facebook) in our lives but knowing who your true friends are is something altogether different and more substantial. There is nothing more rewarding than knowing you have a genuine friend. Friends want the best for you and will go to great lengths to help you achieve success.
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An authentic friendship is a beautiful thing. Knowing what makes that person happy, sad, or angry and being able to calm them in times of need for no other reason than because you love and care about them unconditionally is a gift. Nourishing another’s hopes, dreams and happiness without question or motive is the sign of a true friend.
Friends come in all shapes and sizes—they can be family members, colleagues, school pals, acquaintances, neighbors, mentors, teachers, partners, spouses or even the four-legged-furry-type. A friend holds nothing back including stability, love advice and feedback—and it takes an equally boundless friend to receive these opinions with mutual respect and admiration.
The ability to give freely to someone and understand the occasional need for distance is key when building a solid friendship. The capacity to fully appreciate their emotions and recognize what they need at that exact moment is a well-honed skill. Being able to empathize and identify with what that person may require but doesn't’t know how to ask for is a talent only a true friend can master without over-stepping boundaries and personal space.
A good friend is there for you when things are going great but even more importantly, a good friend cherishes you through trials, tribulations and trauma. Friendships are cultivated through good and bad times and require nurturing. Patience, supporting growth, developing trust with uplifting encouragement through the course of a life-time with someone is what it truly means to be a good friend.
While you may go through ups and downs and grow apart from a friend due to unforeseen circumstances and life changing milestones such as: moving away, getting married, having a baby, new job, new school, etc. it doesn't always have to be a bad thing. Sometimes the distance and change helps build a stronger friendship and when you see each other again you can pick up right where you left off. Unfortunately, this is not always the case -- when something transformational in your life (or their life) affects your friendship; if you feel a huge strain or disconnect, sometimes you just have to let it go and appreciate it for what it was. You can reach out and do your best to resolve things by opening up the lines of communication to discuss your relationship and issues and to let them know how important their friendship is to you but be prepared that things may never be the same. Be mature and grateful for the gifts and do your best not to judge or blame when a friendship ends—sometimes these things are out of our control, best not to force them no matter how painful it may be to let go. Losing a friend can be more devastating than breaking up with a boyfriend, partner or divorce.
When friendships are concerned, I would say quality outweighs quantity. It’s not a popularity contest--and doesn't usually matter how many friends you have but rather how many meaningful friends are by your side. Rock-solid friendships are something we hope to have and hope to be able to give to someone. Reflecting on friendship and what it means to me helps me to put things in perspective. It reminds me of the kind of friendship I want to surround myself with and also the kind of true friend I long to be.
Ask yourself today, what kind of a friend are YOU?
