Eharmony
PHONE NUMBER : 8886874420
Map
My Favorite Opener
I was hanging out over at the Loveawake blog, reading through comments and posts when I ran across this little gem:
Hy all, i’m new to game and in general have had miserable success with women due to anxiety/awkwardness/shyness/ect. Anyways, here is an opener i’m thinking of using at the buss stop that I would like some feedback on: with a wry smile – “waiting for something?” (or something to that effect)
Is this good or shit?
This Gentleman didn’t ask for my advice, but I’m going to give it anyway. Mainly because, this opener is shit. Allow me to explain.
In my field, I deal a lot with people’s finances and retirement which often times requires me to not only invite myself into their home, but then ask for personal financial information. This can be difficult. People, understandably, don’t want to give a stranger the records of their personal financial standing. I’ve found that if I ask people, “Do you have any retirement investments that you’re unhappy with?” or, “Do you have any savings?” I often get a solid No.
So what do I ask them?
“How are your investments doing?”
They will say one of two things. Either: Poorly; or I don’t have any investments.
Either way I have an answer that can lead me into further conversation. Even though this usually comes towards the end of my initial interaction with my clients, it is still an opener because it’s opening a new conversation. I have watched people in my field time and time again, use different openers at this part of the conversation and make the same mistakes over and over again. See if you can spot the mistake:
- “Are your investments performing how you want?”
- “Do you have any money in savings?”
- “Are you happy with your returns?”
- “Do you like where you’re at, financially?”
Advertisement
Cincinnati alternative backpages
The common problem among all of these things that my less experienced colleagues ask and even with the commenter’s opener here is this: They can all be answered with either a yes or a no.
Women, when given the option, will always answer no.
The Key To An Opener
The key to a solid opener is the response she gives. You want it to be inviting so that you may continue conversation with her. Better than this, though, is when you control the response. You see, I don’t ask my clients “Are you happy with your retirement investments?” – I ask them, “How are your investments performing?” You can’t answer that with a yes or a no. You actually have to give me details.
Applying this to pick-up, the best openers are going to be questions or statements where you control the response she gives – where you know what she’s going to say even before you approach her, and you know how to respond before you open her.
Instead of asking her if she’s waiting on something, where she will 9 times out of 10 reply with a curt ‘no’, ask her something that she’s forced to say yes to.
A better question based opener, then, is,
“Excuse me miss, I’ve been debating a friend of mine for quite some time, and I need you to help me. Is the sky blue?”
In the old Mystery routines, you were taught to ask her permission before continuing. Don’t do that, because – as we have discussed – she will say no most of the time. If you make it a statement, keep your voice light but serious, and your chin up, she will probably smile a little and say, “Okay..” anticipating what it could possibly be.
The question you follow up with is utterly ridiculous, of course the sky is blue. You know that, she knows that, even blind people know that! She’ll laugh and tell you it is, and from there you can explain,
My friend believes that reality only exists in our minds, and that we only see a blue sky because we’re told all our lives that the sky is blue. He goes on to tell me that what I see and interpret as blue, might not be what he calls blue. The idea that chocolate doesn’t taste the same for everyone, because if it did then everyone would agree that it’s delicious.
And boom, you’re in. The amazing thing is, once you understand how a good opener works, you don’t need a script. You can make up openers on the spot (usually situational openers) and know that they’re good.
What makes for a good opener
The key ingredients of a good opener will always be:
- It has to be unique, not something she hears all the time.
- It has to be engaging, something that grabs her attention and forces her to interact.
- It has to display value (the above opener shows a complex understanding of philosophy)
- You have to deliver it confidently
- It cannot be answered with a no.
- Corollary: “No” is an acceptable answer when it is the one you’re expecting. “Do you think unicorns are real?”
Keeping this in mind, I’ve found the best openers are not questions at all.
They’re either statements, or short stories.
My Favorite Opener
Keeping all of that in mind, my favorite opener of all time is what I call “The Astronaut Opener”. Here’s how it works:
You spot the pretty girl across the room, walk over to her and casually lean against the bar (sit at her table/lean on the wall near her, etc) and say, as though you were mid conversation with her,
Yeah, I’m an astronaut. Its no big deal.
She will have one of two reactions, guaranteed (unless she’s a total bitch):
HB: “What?”
DYP: “I’m an astronaut. I have a time share on the moon I rent with some Russians. It makes a nice get away when life here gets too hectic. You should check it out some time.”
OR
HB: “Oh really?”
DYP: “Yeah, its pretty cool. I get to zip through space, chill in the space station, eat that weird icecream. I even have a time share on the moon I rent with some Russians. It makes a nice get away when life here gets too hectic. You should check it out some time.”
Every single one of you out there will think that this is stupid and ridiculous. That’s the point. If you don’t deliver it like a talking dick hole with a popped collar, she will laugh and warm up to you. You’re funny, interesting, unique, and while I have you here, what do you really do? You see how that works? She can’t answer no to the opener because its a statement. The only thing she can do is invite you to explain yourself – which is the only option any good opener will leave her.
The first part is like submitting a resume. The second part of the opener is like the job interview. All you really want to do is get her attention enough to let your fun and interesting personality shine through. See how this all works out? My opener may sound cheesy and silly, but it doesn’t let me down.
If she’s a total bitch
If she’s a total bitch and shuts you down right away, no matter what you say or ask, I want you to keep trying to open her. Continue on with your story/statement/opener as if she had given you the response you want. Keep talking until she explicitly asks you to go away. While I don’t believe you should bang uglies until you get your groove, I do believe you should pursue sets even when they’re obviously not interested – just so you can get the practice in. By doing that, you’ve already gotten beyond the hardest and most embarrassing thing that could happen in the field: Getting shut down by an obviously not interested girl.
Now I’ve given you the key to making a good opener, I even gave you my favorite opener (before long, I’m going to like you guys enough to give you some of my canned routines) – you have no excuse for failure. You go out this week and get laid!
